Dealing with criticism in the workplace
Criticism is something we all face in life in this post I want to say that over time it’s up to you see how this affects your work but how you can grow from it rather then let it stop you from moving forward.
I also wanted to do this post for you if you are sensitive person or wanting to develop in your job and overthink the criticism given to you. We will all face criticism in our life and there learning from it can be beneficial rather then getting caught up in the negative aspects of it.
Please see a video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj1TLqNcDk0&feature=youtu.be - In this video I give 2 ways of handling criticism in the workplace. This is a common issue that comes up in my work and the women I work with.
Why does it happen?
Remember it’s a part of life to have some form of feedback and it’s up to you to think about how you want to handle it. If you are fairly new to your role or not used to criticism it may feel hard or not ideal for you. However it’s through learning and getting mentoring from your boss or managers we can see where need to improve. So it’s about you also managing your expectations of yourself and reminding yourself you are good at what you do. There just may be things you need to learn and improve on but that’s all part of the process of you developing.
Psychologists say that criticism affects people differently. Part of the reason I am writing this article is I have seen self criticism and criticisms from others derailing my clients career happiness. Part of the problem is in life we take judgements literally and this can stops us. We also have a certain amount of self criticism, the criticism we give to ourselves. It’s important to be aware of your inner critic but it’s also important you don’t let it overpower you.
Don’t let criticism stop you
Reflect on your criticism - Have you thought about the criticism given to you and had time to reflect what it really means. For example if you were told you need to pay more attention to detail in an area because of a particular company goal. Or that you are too slow and should of done the work this way etc. Instead of taking that personally see where you can improve, get more training or ask your manager for support. If you are having problems with a new piece of software or not being flexible in your working patterns talk to your manager and say you need to work in a more rounded way. Perhaps ask them for advice. Again it’s important to understand and reflect how you can improve.
Also think about what criticism is helpful for your growth and what isn’t. If you have done something in your work that requires improvement take on board that feedback as constructive and ask for support if it’s something you know you need help with. If the criticism is negative for example “Why didn’t produce this document sooner” think about the context of the criticism. One thing I have found working with the women I support is that sometimes is if boss or manager is giving you negative feedback this can impact on your overall work habits.
Everything you haven’t done - If a boss, manager, or colleague constantly points out all the things you should of done or only refers to your short comings or faults in your work this may start to have a impact on you. This is something I experienced myself when I produced a report for work once. It was marked like an essay the senior member of staff kept on calling out what she thought my mistakes were and it was very personal. When this happens it’s a form of bullying and this isn’t helpful.
So there is a big difference between negative feedback and actual feedback where you may be told that you could of written a report in a better way by adding this or doing that. Language and actions are a key part of this so make sure you take this on board but never lose sight of how the feedback if constructive could help you.
Moving forward not backwards
If you have had several critical bosses or even a critical parent growing up it can be hard to come out of the patterns of recovering from constant criticism. Either way it’s important you understand that criticisms will be part of life. It’s how you manage it that is most important. Many people who have encountered a narcissistic or critical parent may feel anxiety or feel their confidence is knocked and this lack of self esteem allows them to not say anything.
Focus on what you want for yourself and don’t look for constant approval from others. if you know there is room for improvement book in some further training or ask your organisation for more opportunities. Look towards the future and don’t over analyse the criticism you have previously had. I speak to many people who have let criticism stop them from applying for a promotion or changing careers. Think about achieving what you want in the future and ignore negative criticisms that don’t allow you to grow further.
Resources and tips and help you
Build an awareness of your own inner critic look at what comes up for you by jounralling around this. Think about the times or events in your life where you were particularly critical of yourself. For example if you are in a meeting and when others speak are you observing others seem to be natural speakers and you take longer pauses. Or if a colleague gets a promotion do you feel that your inner voice is telling you should be working harder. Even though you are one of the most trustworthy team members with knowledge in specific areas. Instead of listening to the inner critic ask your friends and family what they think you are good at this helps provide you with a good sense of morale and self esteem.
Listen to other people’s criticism and observe is it constructive or is it an opinion. A lot of people who are critical may think they know better then you You have the power and ability to decide what you do with it. You can ignore it, take it on board or just politely ask more questions about why. If they build on this with a reasonable explanation maybe you have sometime to work towards. However remember you can decide for yourself what works for you. Remember there will be days where you may make a mistake or not do something as well as what your expectations were. Rather then wallow in it talk to your boss about it and see if you can have a grounded discussion. You will know if your manager cares enough about you and your well-being if instead of blaming they want to support you.
Address the criticism - If you get deeply affected by criticism at work, plan a way to work around this. If you don’t deal with it and realise it’s something you gloss over it will only get worst. Think about talking to therapist or confronting your manager or the person who criticises you at work. State clearly why you feel it’s criticism rather then feedback in a calm way. Communication of how criticism is given to a person can be factor here but it’s important if you feel you are being unfairly criticised you address it. Burying your head in sand will make you feel like you are carrying a heavy weight don’t let it pull you down.
Books and articles I would recommend reading
I have provided some book and article suggestions for you to help you reflect on your own journey with criticism .
Taming your gremlin by Richard David Carson
Highly sensitive person by Elaine Aron
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201404/whats-wrong-criticism
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/sensitivity
Lastly I If you want to connect with further and are interested in getting careers advice why not think about applying to work with here - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1_op9hNEHtgubM1Q5dfspOqSTonc5dsz9ktl1TpVa0Hs/viewform?edit_requested=true&fbzx=1337396816529605572#responses